Extraordinarily Ordinary

Before I begin writing this post I feel like I already need to apologize to you. I've got no business writing in a blog trying to draw any interest from you. I actually have no business making any of my thoughts public. Most of the shit that spews from my mouth and mind is in fact shit. It shouldn't be touched or consumed, I probably make a weird, strained face when it comes out and it usually results in disgust from those who unfortunately encounter it. My primary aim is to get shock laughter out of people, normally by making comments that slight a random nozzle's (term to be defined later) intelligence, attractiveness, well-being, mental capacity, and basically any visible or audible defect I perceive. The kind of laughter where you ask yourself, "Why am I laughing?" "Should I be laughing?" Then you get down on yourself and say things like, "I'm a bad person, but I can't help it." "I should cleanse myself by doing a charitable deed." "Maybe I should go to church." There's no point in fighting these feelings because I usually say these things to myself on a daily basis. However the sooner you realize feelings of remorse are natural, the sooner you get over the fact you have laughed in the face of someone with Down Syndrome. Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da life goes on.



I tend to over exaggerate things in my life including the title of this post. I think exaggerations make things more humorous. I find a certain joy in using big descriptive adjectives to describe inane nouns in my life. However I can't even say that the title is even an accurate depiction of myself. I'm a tall, slender (that used to be an understatement, reference the character Kyle Edwards from the classic tale of finding one's self in college Road Trip) 25 year old male with notable facial features (reference previous understatement) who has a similar tolerance for stupidity as New Orleans levees have for ocean water. So am I without faults to boost one's ego off of? No. In fact I feel my capability to poke fun of my physical defects and my multitude of faults absolve any sin I commit through verbal defecation and or any libel I scribe on this blog since I am as fair game to ridicule as the next disheveled hobo.


Hopefully this will prepare you somewhat for the type of humor and rants that resulting posts will burn into your retinas. If not, then God save you or go fuck yourself.