Random Post Monday

Nothing really exciting happened during my Thanksgiving Day weekend trip down to Tennessee. I just slept, ate a shit ton of turkey, drank, was told to commit suicide post haste and played card games. Nothing out of the ordinary for my family.



Well I was fortunate enough to get a text message from my ever so faithful friend Hova which started a beleaguering text message war from which highlights are shown below.

Hova - "Your balls are showing."

Higgy - "Haha...caught you looking"

Hova - "They are too small to miss"

Higgy - "But large enough to drape your eyelids."

Hova - "Heyyooooo! I need new glasses anyway."

Higgy - "You might as well get some arabian shades...I'll give them to you
free of charge."

Hova - "Can't wait. Please use baby powder."

Higgy - "Only the best for you buddy"

Hova - "And slap them on 1 by 1. 2 at a time is just greedy and frankly, I won't appreciate it."

Higgy - "You'll appreciate my dong slapping your chin and I'll expect you to
leave your mouth ajar."

Hova - "Dong is too much. Don't press your luck. I might let you do tummystix though."

Higgy - "Yeah your mouth is not very accommodating for my penis. can you
instead paint my portrait?"

Hova - "Oh man absolutely. I will be kind to the crotchal
region."

I will exclude some of the proceeding texts as they include fraternal disses involving more homosexuality and frankly the joke would not strike you funny. Now I'll end this brief intermission and let us continue as the insults become Mickey Avalon-esque as they always do.

Hova - "My dick attracts closet freaks, yo dick fucks out homo
gays."

Weak right jab.

Higgy - "My dick gets sucked and fucked by chicks, yo dick crosses swords
with other dicks."

Strong counter punch. Hova starts reeling back.

Hova - "Wow. My dick likes vagina. Yo dick whacks to Mariah."

Obviously stunned, Hova throws a weak body blow.

Higgy - "My dick fucks a chick then takes a piss, yo dick fucks a dude in any
orifice."

Showing up strong, Higgy counters with the facial making Hova question his discretion when drinking alcohol and taking a fuckhole home.

Hova - "My dick annihilates puss, yo dick fucks fag wuss."

Hova gets angry and shows it with his correct spelling of annihilate and his use of a slur. It just means he's set himself up for the knock out.

Higgy - "My dick is a woman's desire, yo dick acts as a man pacifier."

10 count ensues. He gone.

Hova - "Wow."

He confirms said knockout blow.

Higgy - "So you must be pretty damn bored to have kept this going for so
long."

Hova - "Nah, I just don't like to lose."

It looks like he just did.

Higgy - "But are you going to concede?"

An attempt to give him an honorable out.

Hova - "Never."

By the looks of things Hova, you lost, badly. You may want to train harder if you want to step into the ring with the big boys.

Church, Priest, Tabernacle.