Higgy: The Reigning King of all that is Nerd

So as I have posted before on this blog or what you may have gathered or based on the fact that the few of you that read this are my friends, you know I love video games. They are like my crack. It is a sad state of affairs right now because of the amount of games I've sold and bought at Gamestop, I have achieved a new level of loserdom. Here is how it went with our faithful Gamestop clerk, Chris (reference Find the Knob in the Picture).

Higgy: "Do you guys have Little Big Planet in?"
Chris: "No, we have to wait for the UPS guy to show up."

After 2 mins of conversation where Chris explains in way too much detail why other stores got it but his store did not, the UPS guy shows up with the game. Keep in mind it is a little after noon on a Saturday.

Chris: "Awesome, glad you're here because people have been waiting for this
game. Weren't you supposed to be here at 10?
UPS Guy: "Nah, at 12."
Chris: "Oh ok I could've sworn it was at 10 since we open then. (Of course he ahs to argue for nerd's sake) Well this guy right here (refering to me) is glad you came in."
UPS Guy (looking at me like a little fuckin kid): "Well sorry you had to wait, have a great day!"

So now someone else gets to not only acknowledge the fact that I'm a loser, but they then feel the need to apologize to me for my douchebagery . Thanks Chris. Thanks.

Now for the coup de grâce. Because I pre-ordered this game, normally one would have to show their driver's license in order to prove their identity in order to pick the game up. Not this guy.

Higgy attempts to hand his Driver's License
Chris: "I don't need to see that (Higgy), I know who you are."

Fuck, shit, piss out my ass. It was like Bill Gates walked into the room and dubbed me a sir in the Knighthood of Nerdery. Not really an honor I ever want to be given. It was quite the defeating blow to my ego to be well-known enough in a video game retailer. So I went home, head down in shame at my newfound self-realization of my rank in the totem pole of society and told my lovely girlfriend about my great misadventures. Would you expect her to be kind and understanding of the trauma my ego has suffered? Hells no. She let me have it with her patented impersonations which always start with, "My Name is (insert name here)" and are spoken in a voice that I can only describe as a more mentally impaired Napoleon Dynamite. Here are some of her gems.

The GF: "My name is (Higgy) and I like to play video games with my friend Chris.
We are bestest friends."

The GF: "Chris, me, you and Dale should play
video games together sometime."
Higgy: "Where did Dale come from?"
The GF: "I don't know, the name just sounds nerdy."
Higgy: "The name sounds hick but please continue."

I also got a code with the game to redeem to get extra characters in this game and it wasn't working so I had to call Gamestop back up. My girlfriend's mockery continued.

The GF: "Are you calling your buddy Chris? Hopefully he can make it aaallllll better."

No one knows how to stroke my ego like her. Maybe Chris could make it better.