Random Dinner Thursday

Whenever T-Pain, Nik and myself convene for a meal the conversation always has the same theme. Nik watches in embarrasing discomfort as T-Pain and myself twist a normal subject into a discussion about the layman competing in Olympic competition. Here are a few edited excerpts from that night.

On the subject of viral videos (somehow a midget doing the robot was brought up)

Higgy - "That would be a much better mascot for Geico than that money with eyes."

T-Pain - "The midget would have to be a stripper. Guess who's getting one of those for their bachelor party?

Higgy - "No thanks. Not something I really want to see."

T-Pain - "C'mon, you'd be jealous if I told you I saw a midget naked and you didn't."

Higgy - "No I'm pretty sure I'd be ok with that."

T-Pain - "'Mrs. T, don't worry he'll come back from this wanting you even more than ever.' We can even use a regular-sized cake."

Higgy - "As long as she does the robot to the song Somebody's Watching Me."

T-Pain - "She does however have to wear regular sized tassels."

Higgy - "On a midget? That's just too much nipple for me."

T-Pain - "A silver dollar is a silver dollar."

On the subject of the Olympics (segued by T-Pain discussing his hobo fire parties)

Higgy - "It's too warm now for Hobo Ice Capades."

T-Pain - "Hobo Olympics are not a summer event."

Higgy - "I beg to differ, there are plenty of Hobo summer events."

T-Pain - "I guess Hobo Street Luge would work."

Higgy - "We can do better than that. How about an event where the hobo has to make it from New York to LA jumping from train to train without any map."

T-Pain - "That would test the Hobo's knowledge of train schedules."

Higgy - "Probably test his mouth too if he decides to hitchhike. What about an event testing how many times a hobo can drop off of a 4 story building?"

T-Pain - "That can be the Hobo High Jump."

Nik - "And we have a 10 way tie for last."

Higgy - "We don't award medals but an escape out of their miserable lives."

T-Pain - "I'm pretty sure death would be a better place."

Higgy - "Or if they get maimed, it would be a way to arouse more pity from others thus increasing their profits from panhandling."

On the subject of 6th grade humor

T-Pain: "Just the other day I got a girl to look down and spell "Attic."

Higgy: "Remember the Pen15 club? Well if you happened to fall for that and then caught a glimpse of your hand while J-ing to the O, would you ask yourself, 'Is this redundant?' "

How I convinced Mrs. T to marry me, I'm not so sure.