It really does not take much to amuse me. For instance my dog staring at me and then licking my feet mid-coitus to me is pretty amusing. I definitely went from "Damn I'm liking this odd sensation" to a "Holy Fuck, this is partial beastiality having the canine partake in the sinning" to a "This is blogworthy in hilarity" in the matter of seconds. Nevermind the fact I slopped Skippy between my toes, it really made my day. Ok I feel I'm getting off topic now.
Being that I am easily amused, I tend to try and fit words into conversation or my writing that have some of the following qualities:
1) Polysyllabic
2) Extremely Pompous/Arrogant
3) Succinctly describe one's fault
I feel like the bigger the word, the more likely the
Bourgeoisie use said word, thus belittling someone more. Basically they are fun to say as when said correctly roll off the tongue and deliver a lashing similar to the days of...well you can insert any metaphor you choose here.
1)
Hobgoblin - A small grotesque, elfish being whose sole purpose is to cause mischief to humans.
Calling someone a hobgoblin implies the person is:
- Short
- Hideous
- Has small, stubby hands
- Isn't human, thus isn't capable to procreating with other humans
Implication is key with words as it causes a delayed reaction time as to when said person connects the dots, they realize how much they suck. These words only have an effect if the person is smart enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
2)
Juxtaposition - an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast.
This is a seemingly harmless word but when used properly adds a pompous and somewhat dickish tone to any insult. Using this as a verb can be even more damaging.
"Even when
juxtaposed with Tom Cruise, you are the bigger
nozzle in the room."
3)
Capitulate - to surrender under agreed conditions.
This pretty much means to become one's bitch and agree to it. Here's an example:
"After being told his dick was used as a 'man-pacifier', Hova
capitulated and found himself in Higgy's servant quarters."
4)
Acquiesce - to assent tacitly; submit or comply silently or without protest.
In other words, this means to not even put up a fight when you know you got knocked the fuck out. Refer back to the post "Random Post Monday" to see such a pussy showing.
5)
Decrepit - worn out by long use; dilapidated.
More importantly, it is a perfect way to describe the genatalia of someone with loose virtue or more specifically someone who has a lot of penile insertion in their gape.
"I don't even think I could shut her up by sticking my dick in her
decrepit mouth."
6)
Gape - a wide opening, breach.
No lie here, I honestly did not know this was a word until after I typed it in for my definition of decrepit. It just made sense though. What
else would you call something that is gaping? Oh the power of words. That whole sticks and stones saying is a bunch of shit. Gape has replaced gash as my euphemism for vagina. Sorry Thomper. Although this word fails condition one listed above, it sure as hell makes up for it with condition 3.
The lesson is over for today children, but more words will be defined here at a later point in time.
This just gave me +3 to my douchebag level.
